A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next co...
A worker was called on the carpet by his supervisor for talking back to his foreman. "Is it true that you called him a liar?"Yes, I did.""Did you call him stupid?""Yes.""And did you call him an opinionated, egomaniac asshole?""No, but would you write that down so I can remember it?"
I am on my sea food diet right now!How does it work?Whenever I see food I eat it!
The teacher walked into the classroom to find the word "penis" chalked in small letters on the board. She was a bit embarrassed, so she didn't say anything, but rubbed it out and went on with the class.But the next day when she came in, she found the same thing again - "penis", this time written...
How do women define a 50/50 relationship?We cook. They eat.We clean. They dirt.We iron. They wrinkle.
What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?Some traffic signs say stop.
Yo momma is so fat. If she gained another pound, she would collapse in on herself and become a black hole.
What's cannibalism?Men eating pork.
This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves.The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves.The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and ...
A mathematician and a physicist were asked the following question: Suppose you walked by a burning house and saw a hydrant and a hose not connected to the hydrant. What would you do?P: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.M: I would attach the hose to the h...
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